2008: Made history with same-sex wedding, Hollywood's golden couple.
2010-2020: Built $500M empire on "Be Kind" brand.
July 2020: Toxic workplace allegations explode, show canceled.
2020-2021: Marriage nearly collapsed under scandal pressure.
2024: Still together, but very different people.
This is how Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi went from representing LGBTQ+ hope to nearly divorcing over a workplace scandal—and why they're still fighting to save 16 years together.
The Groundbreaking Beginning (2004-2008)
The VH1 Awards Meeting (2004)
Date: 2004 VH1 Big in '04 Awards
Ellen: Openly gay comedian, successful talk show host
Portia: Arrested Development star, still closeted
The moment: Backstage introduction
Portia later: "I was immediately in love"
The problem: Portia wasn't publicly out yet
Coming Out for Love (2005)
Portia's decision: Come out publicly
Reason: To be with Ellen openly
The announcement: 2005 interviews
Career risk: Major (still rare in 2005)
Ellen's response: Supportive, protective
Their first public appearance: 2005 Golden Globes
Reaction: Positive, groundbreaking
The Proposal (2008)
Date: May 15, 2008 (same day California legalized same-sex marriage)
Who proposed: Ellen
Portia's reaction: Immediate yes
The timing: Perfect, historic moment
August 16, 2008: The Wedding
Location: Their Beverly Hills home
Guests: 19 intimate friends and family
Officiant: General Hospital actress Kristina Wagner
Portia's outfit: Pink Zac Posen dress
Ellen's outfit: White suit
Vows: Handwritten, emotional
Significance: One of first high-profile same-sex celebrity weddings
Media coverage: Worldwide, overwhelmingly positive
Symbol: Hope for LGBTQ+ community
The Golden Years (2008-2020)
Building the Empire
The Ellen DeGeneres Show:
- Launched 2003
- Peak ratings: 4+ million viewers
- 64 Daytime Emmy Awards
- "Be Kind" motto
Combined earnings (2008-2020): $600+ million
Ellen's peak salary: $50 million/year
Portia's career: Acting, then shifted to support Ellen
Their lifestyle:
- Multiple mansions (flipped frequently)
- Santa Barbara ranch
- Beverly Hills estates
- Combined net worth: $500 million by 2020
The Public Image
What we saw:
- Dancing, joy, kindness
- Matching Halloween costumes
- Anniversary tributes
- "Goals" relationship status
Ellen's public statements:
- Constant praise for Portia
- "Best thing that ever happened to me"
- Relationship advice to audience
Portia's role:
- Supportive wife
- Occasional show appearances
- Behind-the-scenes support
The brand: Perfect celebrity marriage
The Cracks Start Showing (2017-2019)
2017: Portia's Health Scare
Diagnosis: Emergency appendectomy
During recovery: Ellen filmed show every day
Portia's reflection: Felt alone during health crisis
Ellen's schedule: Never stopped working
First hint: Work came before wife
2018-2019: The Tabloid Rumors
Headlines: "$450 million divorce"
Claims:
- Living separate lives
- Marriage in trouble
- Fighting constantly
Their response: Laughed it off publicly
Ellen on show: "Portia and I are fine"
Social media: Anniversary posts, photos together
Reality: More complicated
Portia's Revelations (Later interviews)
Her admission: Felt invisible
The pattern: Ellen's work consumed everything
Their weekends: Ellen working or planning show
Social life: Revolved around Ellen's career
Portia's identity: Lost in "Ellen's wife" role
July 2020: The Scandal Explodes
BuzzFeed Investigation
Published: July 16, 2020
Title: "The Ellen DeGeneres Show: A Toxic Workplace"
Allegations from staffers:
- Racism, fear, intimidation
- Sexual misconduct by producers
- Toxic work environment
- "Be Kind" was facade
Number of employees interviewed: 30+
Claims:
- Fired for taking medical leave
- Fired for attending family funerals
- Racist microaggressions
- Sexual harassment by executive producers
The Public Backlash
Social media: #RIPEllen trended
Former guests: Came forward with negative experiences
Comedians: Shared stories about Ellen being mean
The contradiction: "Be Kind" host created cruel workplace
Brand collapse: Everything Ellen built on kindness destroyed
Ellen's Initial Response
First statement: "I'm devastated"
Her claim: Didn't know about toxic environment
Public reaction: "How could you not know?"
The problem: She was executive producer
Credibility: Zero
August 2020: WarnerMedia Investigation
Launched: Internal investigation
Duration: 6 weeks
Interviews: Dozens of current and former employees
Result: 3 top producers fired
Ellen's statement: "I take responsibility"
September 2020: Ellen's Apology
The monologue: Season 18 premiere (September 21, 2020)
Her words:
- "I learned things happened that never should have happened"
- "I take responsibility for what happens at my show"
- "We are starting a new chapter"
Tone: Defensive, not fully accountable
Viewer response: Mixed, many unconvinced
The Marriage Strain
During this crisis:
- Portia barely mentioned publicly
- Ellen's focus: Saving career
- Marriage stress: Extreme
Sources later revealed:
- Ellen became "impossible to live with"
- Portia felt abandoned
- Fights became constant
The Near-Divorce (2020-2021)
The Isolation
Ellen's state:
- Depressed
- Defensive
- Angry at being "attacked"
Portia's position:
- Trying to support
- Also dealing with public judgment
- Feeling ignored
The pattern:
- Ellen withdrew emotionally
- Portia felt shut out
- Communication broke down
The Tabloid Reports (2020-2021)
Headlines: "$500 million divorce imminent"
Claims:
- Ellen moved out
- Portia consulting divorce lawyers
- Marriage "over"
Their public stance: United front on social media
Reality: Seriously considering separation
What Nearly Ended It
Sources later revealed:
1. Ellen's ego:
- Couldn't accept responsibility
- Blamed everyone else
- Refused therapy initially
2. Portia's breaking point:
- Tired of being second priority
- Ellen's career crisis consumed their lives
- Lost herself completely
3. Communication breakdown:
- Stopped talking honestly
- Resentment built up
- Connection faded
4. Public pressure:
- Constant scrutiny
- "Perfect marriage" facade exhausting
- Everyone watching for failure
The Turning Point
Late 2020: Portia gave ultimatum
The choice: Change or divorce
Ellen's response: Initially resistant
Portia's firmness: Dead serious
Ellen's realization: Would actually lose her
Decision: Committed to therapy, real change
The Show Ends (2021)
May 12, 2021: The Announcement
Ellen's decision: End show after season 19
Public reason: "Not challenging anymore"
Real reason: Needed to save marriage
Final season: 2021-2022
Last episode: May 26, 2022
The end: 19 seasons, 3,200+ episodes
Why Ending the Show Saved the Marriage
Time together: First time in years
Ellen's focus: Could shift from career
Portia's breathing room: No longer "Ellen's wife" in show context
Therapy: Actually had time for it
Reconnection: Rediscovered each other
Rebuilding (2022-2024)
The Therapy Journey
Couples therapy: Intensive sessions
Individual therapy: Both separately
The work:
- Ellen addressing ego, control
- Portia rediscovering identity
- Communication skills
- Work-life balance
Progress: Slow, difficult, real
Portia's Transformation
Her focus: Own art career
New identity: Artist, not just "Ellen's wife"
Boundaries: Established clear ones
Voice: Found it again
Ellen's Change
Admissions: Actually took responsibility (privately)
Work: On ego, defensiveness
Marriage priority: Actually made it one
Career: Stepped back significantly
The New Normal (2024)
Where they are:
- Still married
- "Different" relationship
- More balanced
- Less public
Ellen's projects: Selective, not all-consuming
Portia's career: Art, own pursuits
Their dynamic: More equal
Public appearances: Rare, authentic
What's Different Now
Then vs. Now
Before scandal:
- "Perfect" public image
- Ellen-centric relationship
- Work consumed life
- Portia invisible
After scandal:
- More private
- Balanced partnership
- Boundaries enforced
- Both have identities
The Remaining Issues
Trust: Still rebuilding
Public perception: Still recovering
Ellen's reputation: Permanently damaged
Career: Ellen's essentially over
Resentment: Portia's, from lost years
Fear: Of falling into old patterns
The Cost
Financial
Show earnings lost: $50+ million/year
Endorsements dropped: $20+ million
Brand value: Destroyed
Combined loss: $100+ million in future earnings
Reputational
Ellen's legacy: From beloved to canceled
Portia: Collateral damage
LGBTQ+ representation: Setback
"Be Kind" brand: Dead
Personal
Marriage nearly ended: Years to rebuild
Portia's identity crisis: Still recovering
Ellen's mental health: Ongoing struggle
Privacy: Forever compromised
Relationships
Friends: Many lost
Industry: Ellen essentially blacklisted
Family: Strain from public scandal
Trust: Damaged, slowly rebuilding
Still Together, But Different
2024 status: Married, but transformed
Ellen (66): Quieter, more private, rebuilding
Portia (51): Stronger, independent, balanced
The relationship:
- Not the "perfect" public image
- Actually healthier now
- Hard-won authenticity
- Real communication
Will it last?
- Both committed
- Both changed
- Therapy continues
- One day at a time
The Lesson
You can be:
- Hollywood's golden couple
- Worth $500 million
- LGBTQ+ icons
- "Relationship goals"
But:
If work comes before marriage, marriage suffers.
If public image matters more than private truth, cracks form.
If one person loses themselves, relationship becomes toxic.
If you can't take accountability, everything crumbles.
Ellen and Portia nearly divorced because:
- Career obsession destroyed balance
- Public facade hid private dysfunction
- One partner became invisible
- Communication broke down
They're still together because:
- Portia gave ultimatum
- Ellen actually changed
- Therapy did real work
- Both wanted to save it
The scandal didn't destroy the marriage.
The marriage problems created conditions for scandal.
The scandal just exposed what was already broken.
And forcing them to deal with it—actually saved them.
From groundbreaking wedding to toxic workplace scandal to nearly divorced—
Ellen and Portia's story is about what happens when public perfection masks private pain.
And what it takes to save a marriage when everything else has collapsed.
They're still together.
But they're very different people than they were.
And that might be the only reason they survived.
